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I got all dressed up and planned for this to be the sexiest holiday ever, but it's the WORST Christmas ever! This is exactly the opposite of sexy when my husband is in the only working bathroom with a terrible tummy grumble and I'm out here dressed like a naughty Santa for nothing. This is *TOOTS* awful!

Oh no! Oh no, oh No! OH NO! Was that me? My butt! Oh my butthole! Why are my farts green? Farts aren't supposed to be visible! Oh my bumhole! My pantyhose are starting to feel a bit too warm and uncomfortable, bordering on moist.... This isn't good. This isn't the sexy sex filled Christmas night in that I planned to be fucking, not crowning a porcelain throne! There's not another working bathroom and if my husband doesn't get off it soon, my pantyhose might become a bit too tight.... This is bad!!!!

Oh Christmas cramps, I've got the farts! My belly is all crampus *TOOTS* bloated! Now my tummy feels horrible and full of cautionary gurgles of gas to come. Was it all the holiday sweets, the Santa cookies and milk, or the naughty ham that I just couldn't keep my hands off of? My husband is on the only usable bathroom with a belly-flush, and now I think I've got the same icky yucky that he has! Oh my, oh no, oh this is not sexy at all! He's in the bathroom, and I'm not, and I need in it too now! I can't hold in my *TOOTS* farts! Why, why, why are they so GREEN?

Hope you enjoyed my homemade fart reel sound effects! Are they real? Are they not? Only someone who has watched every single one of my asshole videos will recognize these majestic pooters and butt flooters!