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I know exactly who you are — the mysterious ‘phantom pitcher’ behind the dildo storm at the WNBA games. Every night, you sneak those pleasure wands, you slip those massive silicone soldiers past security by hiding them up your gay ass, each one bigger and bolder than the last! You think you’re clever, but I see right through your desperate little fag game, you throw them onto the court to mask the truth you’re desperate to hide: you're a closeted gay man tormented by forbidden fantasies, repressed homo desires, lashing out by harassing and targeting women because you can’t admit you crave the very thing you hide. You have a secret yearning to live openly your anal sexuality like the women you target, who are even praised for it!
While those fierce women live loud and proud, taking what they want deep in their ass and embracing their true selves past the court, behind closed doors, you’re stuck sneaking your own secret pleasures, you hide behind your stunts, burdened by a closet you can’t escape — and faggot, I’m the only one calling you out and I’m here to expose every inch of your homo self!