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Oh! I'm so glad you've arrived Hunter! There's been something nasty lurking in the woods lately and I've been awful frightened. I heard it on the path, so I ran all the way here, alone, to Granny's house. When I arrived, I couldn't find her anywhere, but I heard some more weird noises that sounded like a struggle. First there were some sounds in the bedroom, and then I heard her scream in the kitchen!

I looked all over, but couldn't find her. Could you look around, do a double check for things I missed, and see if you find anything? Please, oh please, dear Hunter? Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting right here where I know it's safe while you look around the rest of the house for her. I'm so worried that she's missing! *practices making over dramatic shocked faces* Oh! What's what you said? You found my dear, sweet Granny's body in the freezer? Some of the parts were missing....Oh dear me, my my my..oh dear, dear...*BELCH*....What was that? Her frail, old, wrinkled body was so tiny, and just not nearly filling enough with mostly just saggy skin and bones, so chewy and tough, hardly a meal at all. Will you console me on the loss of her? No, well.....*BUUUUUURPS* Then I'll just have to devour something much, much, much more filling to fully eat away my feelings over sexual rejection.

Mmmm, yummy! Oh, here comes another one, *DEEP BELCHING*, ahhhh yes, I do love a tasty treat in bed this time of year. Something about the spooky, dark woods, just makes me want to cuddle up in bed and all day. Is that knocking on the door? Gosh, another villager worried about the screams? This won't do at all. I already know there's no way I'll seduce you, not with this quickly growing belly that's still rumbling and growling with hunger and the promise of future burps and farts, and I'd like to get my dessert out of the fridge before more people grow concerned over missing reports for Granny and the Hunter. Hmm, I don't think it counts as me eating you if I don't chew you up. It definitely doesn't count as eating you if I just swallow you whole.....Come on then, get right on in! It will be late soon and I want to shut off the lights so I can leisurely enjoy digesting and *BURPING* relaxing with the rest of the thawed Granny's giblets from the fridge....

When this twist on Little Red Riding Hood reveals every bloated detail about who actually ate Granny and the Hunter and the Villager, you'll have to wonder how far the snacking will go....