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Non-pop Looner Tries Natural Nail Pop

I've never been able to blow a balloon to popping. I'm an involuntary screamer and jump whenever I hear that bang of the latex exploding everywhere. There's something else though. All of my body piercings make me a super conductor, plus the metal bits inside of my body ramp up the electricity. When you rub a fully taught balloon on my body, it zaps everything. It's no wonder I can't blow to pop! My natural nails are long, thick, strong, and sharp though. Surely this balloon could withstand a bit of squeezing right? It's just fine and my shiny, red balloon is still in one piece as I drag my fingers over it in lots of different ways to make it squeak. It holds on until I really, really squeeze it. BANG! And I didn't break or chip a single nail. The balloon never stood a chance.

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