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dear god, I've been such a good girl, but lately I've been having some impure thoughts. it just seems like everyone else is having more fun than me, I just wish you would tell me what to do. I pray every day and never hear anything back. I try to find answers in the bible but it just confuses me even more. you say to do good, but the things in here seem pretty bad, even the things you've done. so many people use this book for hateful reasons. I don't know what to believe anymore, but I have an idea. I'm going to test you, god. I'm going to commit sins and if you want to save my soul from going to hell, then send me a sign and I'll stop and repent ♡ I start to touch myself slowly, but immediately realize this incredible feeling I've been missing out on. how can sinning feel so good? I masturbate waiting for god to send me a sign, but nothing happens. maybe I need to do something more extreme. I steal my sister's vibrator - that's two sins in one - and use it for the first time, feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure. that's not enough to save me? fine. I steal a whorish outfit from my sister and I call up my sister's boyfriend and ask him to come over to help me. that's adultery, premarital promiscuity, stealing, and masturbation. that's so many sins. if god doesn't save me from this, he definitely doesn't care aboout me. I fly into a rage after commiting all of these sins at the same time, realizing I've spent my life worshipping a fake god who isn't even real. I destroy the bible, spitting on it, ripping it, getting blowjob drool all over the lies on the pages. I sit on top of the open bible with my vibrator, humping and rubbing it on myself, still tearing out pages, and finally have an orgasm on it. I use the pages to clean myself off and give god a final "fuck you"